One of the biggest decisions my husband and I have made is for me to be a stay-at-home mom. That’s right, WE made that decision. It took action and sacrifice from both of us. It meant my husband had to get a job that pays enough and has good benefits (insurance, retirement, etc.) so we would be able to afford living on one income. My husband loves carpentry work, but building houses wasn’t going to pay our bills. So, he got a job at a plant, and even though its not his most favorite way to pass the workday, it allows us the lifestyle we prefer. And two months before our first child was due, I retired.
After Big B was born and I’d meet someone new, I found myself having this conversation quite a bit:
Them: “So, what do you do?”
Me: “I don’t work, I’m a mom!” (Said in a rather ecstatic voice!)
Them: “Oh, but you do work!”/”There’s no job more important!”/”That’s better than any paycheck!”
Stop already. The tone of your voice could not *be* more condescending.
I get it, you want to make me feel valued, like my life still holds importance even though I don’t financially contribute to my family. Guess what? I already know that. I’m very proud to be a stay-at-home mom. Not because I think I’m better than working moms, but because my one main goal in life is to be a mom. I don’t need strangers reminding me that I matter. I know I matter. I also know that every mother who chooses to work, matters. I know that every mother who makes decisions every day in order to care for her children the best way she can, matters.
On the other hand, ladies who stay home, stop saying “I’m just a mom.” That takes so much value out of what you do. Do people say “I’m just a doctor” or “I’m just a judge” or “I’m just a teacher”? No. Being a mom is not something to be ashamed of. Own it!!
Happy Mother’s Day to all you lovely moms out there. If you work or if you stay home, you matter! Just look into the face of your child if you need more proof!